i know i have complete my share,
i know that i can go and rest after so many nights,
i know i can continue my other stuff tml,
i know i can finally shut my eyes early for once,
but, what is this uneasiness in me?

i am afraid.
afraid i might not do well in school,
afraid i might not be able to hand in my assignment in time,
afraid i might not be able to cope with the stress and break down,
afraid i might forget to do my stuff and causing trouble for my group member,
afraid of studying,
afraid of being late for school,
afraid of my fyp submission date,
afraid of tutorials,
afraid of projects being given again,
afraid of not being able to graduate,
afraid of graduating,
afraid of not knowing what to do or where to go after my graduation,
afraid of losing everyone whom is so dear to me bcoz of my busy schedule,
afraid i will do something wrong when working when weekend comes,
afraid of so much more.

i am scared. i might breakdown.

i am so tired. what have i not completed? what can i do to help?

i am getting forgetful, very forgetful.

money spend on taking cab to sch coz i'm late is costing a bomb.
i must wake up earlier. i must complete whatever i can.

i wanna study somemore.
but i'm afraid i can't get into any school.
i wanna further study.

i just wanna rest.

sigh...

sometimes i have so much to say.
sometimes nobody listen.

sometimes i wanted to blog so much.
sometimes i just have to give my projects the priority.

sometimes i wish so much to complete whatever i haf on hand.
sometimes it jus keeps coming in.

sigh.

have been busy submitting projs and receiving projs. sleeping at 1 - 2 am, waking in the morning to go school, sits in class for lecturers and tutorials, meet up for proj discussion or meet up with lecturers, go home, do projs and the cycle continues.

i am so tired. i just hope that i can have a week. jus one week to let me rest. no school, no projs, no work. jus sleep, jus watch tv, jus enjoy myself. is it possible? i don't think so.

going to graduate next year march (if everything goes well). am i going to work? continue to study? what path will i take? this is something that has be bothering me. this is one decision i have to make which is going to have a big impact on my life. how?

sigh.

love,
hanlin

i've gone missing from my blog for like forever.
national day jus passed. and i'm still the same. working studying and rotting.
'cept for the fact that i've been bleeding like nobody's business.
my auntie came to visit and my nose have been bleeding.
sun bled twice. once at work and once at home.
monday bled once. on mrt on the way to sch. i guess i might haf scare the hell out of the 2 malays infront of me. LOL!! but hey! i don wish for it to happen too k. before i know it the blood has already dripped on my shirt.
all was fine till JUST NOW. my nose bleed again. for no freaking reason.
if flu is called running nose, den i guess mine is called dying nose. or shld i say dying person (which is me) instead.
i might have some kind of sickness. maybe i lack of red blood cells (which i suspect long ago coz i always haf bruises) or maybe, too lil white blood cells resulting all xtra red blood cells trying to escape thru my nose. *luaffs*
whatever it is, i haf chose to escape frm reality. i went to see doctor and he said i shld go back to him if nose bleeds continues, and he will refer me to dunno who and who, what and what. AND!! i shall not go back. to me, its better not noe why.

so i haf found a reason for myself, I AM JUS TOO HEATY!

haf tried to take off next sunday to complete all my undone stuff (mostly homework). but dunno my SUPERvisor approve anot. shall see.

my fyp sux totally to the core. why? coz we are like SO SO behind time. grrr. i wanna dropout!!

i've came up with a list of I HATES when i'm working. shall update again. going to do homework now. nites ppl.