Tuesday, December 26, 2006

moving, passwording.

i know i said awhile ago bout the last post. but i am back.

i'll be moving. somewhr new.. a new blog maybe. but i'll be setting password. so whoever wants pls e-mail to the add u see on ur right.

life is funny. you can feel the warm in ur heart when u know that your love, woke up early to buy breakfast for u. but he only has the money for one set coz if he go and withdraw money, he will miss the breakfast 'hours'. but he still go ahead and bought it for u. 1 set. for you only. just simply bcoz u said if u can't have that u don't want anything at all.

and later in the night, u found out he lied. about another girl. blocking her on his main msn and adding her in another. solely for her. and he told you that he had not use these email add for a long time. that it was used in sec school days. but the girl is his poly mate. he then became defensive and start raising your voice at you. the 2nd time u felt that kind of hurt in ur heart. the 1st was 4 years back. the very same kind. the kind where you tot you will never have to go thru again.

on xmas night, u cry urself to bed. you cannot afford not to sleep. you have work next day. but tears just kept flowing. and woke up with a swollen eyes. for once, you are glad you are wearing specs and not lens. with the verge of crying every single time ppl ask 'why you look so sad' at work on boxing day.

on the same day, you gave him a chance to explain everything. you asked questions. lots of them. but none he could answer. but expecting you to trust him. the girl told him 'put yourself in my shoes and think. you never tot bout how hurt will i feel. you only know how to be defensive and raise you voice at me. not giving me the explaination that me, as your gf shld know. you have made your choice when you decide to cover and protect her existance from me. ' all the boy could say was 'after we got together there is nothing that i did to let you down. nothing at all'

all the girl wants to know is all the answers to the questions.

the girl decides that if by friday, the 29th, girl still did not get the answer she wants, she will walk away.. put the past aside.. and leave... guess whatever future the boy and girl talked about will come to an end...

真的是我不够好？还是你心里已有你认为比我更好的人？
Hanlin slept soundly at 8:52:00 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Last Post

This blog is going to be closed down.

Yes, you heard it right. I will be closing this blog down, well not closing it down, but just that I won't be posting here anymore.

During the past month, there were some sad times but it seems my fortune has turned for the better and everything is right again.

Someone from my past appeared and it seems he still keeps my photos. To that person, GET A LIFE. Are you unable to get a gf that you have to keep my photos? I honestly do not care if you keep it or not, but I would appreciate it if you just get rid of it. By keeping it, you are just proving to me that you are pathetic. And you chose to appear at a right time when I was feeling down, but please do not try to be a person who thinks I am vulnerable when I am down. And I would certainly appreciate it if you stop contacting me. I hope you are reading this.

I said awhile back that I would need a little time to pick myself up, but it seems that I extended my hand and someone was there to pick me up. Now I just hope that I will be able to walk down the road hand in hand with that person. How long? How about forever? haha

-----------LAST POST ON THIS SITE-----------
Hanlin slept soundly at 6:41:00 PM

Thursday, October 12, 2006

just a little while more...

let me just dwell in self pity a little while more... before i pick myself up from where i left it 4 years back..

just a little while more..

a little while more...
Hanlin slept soundly at 9:19:00 AM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

李圣杰 - 重来

有多少爱能重来
多少人愿意等待
失去之后才明白
走进回忆的安排
一幕一幕的对白
上演我们的未来
期待
原来是一种伤害
心爱的人已离开
是我不该忽略你
给我的爱

现在我只想回到
最初的时候
不愿再让你泪流
心疼时候只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
新的需要的你的我
一切从头

有多少爱能重来
多少人愿意等待
失去之后才明白
走进回忆的安排
一幕一幕的对白
上演我们的未来
期待
原来是一种伤害
心爱的人已离开
是我不该忽略你
给我的爱
现在我只想回到
最初的时候
不愿再让你泪流
心疼时候只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
真的需要的你的我
只要你回头

现在我只想回到
最初的时候
不愿再让你泪流
心疼时候只有你会陪着我
现在我只想回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
真的需要的你的我
只要你回头
------------------------------------
its amazing how some songs can reflect how u feel.
Hanlin slept soundly at 9:30:00 PM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

only till now i know i'm living in a dream.
a dream of us.
i used to think everything about you, about me, is about us.
till recently, i realise this is not so.
it never is.
4 years. four.but you still are a mystery.
finally i woke up from the dream and realise everything about you is about her, and everything about me is about us.
to me, you are always a mystery.
i don't know what you are thinking.
to you, i'm transparent.
even the days when we are not together, i am still transparent.
to me, you are like a piece of vanguard.
i can never look through.
no matter how hard i try there is always tiny bits of things that i will find out.
which i do not wish to.
find out that i do not fully occupy your heart.
find out that you are not mine, from the start.
somewhere, there is a her.
i know there is.
to you, somewhere, there is always a him.
but i know there isn't.

i lost you.
i know i really did this time.

good bye

-------------------------------------------------------------

i thought i had gotten over it. i really believe i had.
i teared. i did not cry.

i thought i never will.
i thought it was meant for me.
i thought...

i think about you more then i know..

i wish i didn't know what i know.
i wish i know if you really mean those.
i wish...

i hope things did not turn out like this.
i hope we were still in tioman.
i really hope...

after so long.. after 4 years.. everything i thought was wonderful was just a dream.

i will stand.. but i need time..

i need time...
a very long period of time i think..
very very long...
Hanlin slept soundly at 10:46:00 PM

Monday, September 25, 2006

i love weekdays!

i hereby declare i love weekdays! and i dread weekends.

yes, i know weekends i can just laze ard at home... doing nothing.. and most imptly rest. but somehow, i love being drowned by work for now, till i am able to slow down my pace without... without.. you know what. although i still complain of cos.

alot ppl have been asking me whether i'm ok. I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!! *BIG HUGS* i would usually stare blank for awhile, think for awhile and give the same answer.

i couldn't afford to be not ok right?

von used to always tell me, the stronger you are, the more worried i am.

but... but... the world doesn't stop just for me. everything still have to go on. i rather smile, even if i faked it but still.. i rather smile and carry on with life. i don't like to show the weaker side of me. this is just me.

what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. if i fall, i will make sure i will stand. using my own effort. but i still need some tender loving care from my girlies. hur hur. after that, i'll be a stronger me!

diamonds are forever, so are my girlies. *hugs+kisses*

i still miss you.. *sulks*
Hanlin slept soundly at 8:57:00 PM

Saturday, September 23, 2006

a particular scene of us kept flashing cross my mind.. it goes something like this:

location: taka basement

me: i want to eat aunty annie!!
you: go buy lor.
me: *walks over* auntie, i want sour cream 1.
you: you want to drink or not?
me: *nod nod*
you: eh... one more lemonade. *pay money*
us: *walks up the escalator*

i cannot remember when is the last time we did something like this... something so simple, so normal, thus nobody cherish it.

i am so craving for auntie annie's. *sulks*
Hanlin slept soundly at 7:02:00 PM