Wednesday, April 06, 2005

ah lian-ism?!?

ok. forget bout the big hoohaa bout being fat in the previous post. hur hur. look at the time. and i'm awake! paper onli starts at 2. den why the hell am i awake so earli?

COZ I HAVEN FINISHED STUDYING!!! dammit.

was thinking back. my sec school days. copied my way thru the days. homework and tests/exams mind u. yea. was abit of cheater back then. don study for my papers and i can actually still PASS! a huge part of me was into this ah lian-ism thingy. and studying wasn't the IN thing.

but now, even if i realli study i don even haf confident of passing my module! fark!

-back to ah lian-ism-

was actually a big time ah lian last time. or jus say i'm a CAL (chao ah lian in short). skipped school, runaway from home etc etc. wad kinda rebellious. my parents are having a hard time too. LOL! i mean seriously, where did that small lil innocent ger(ME) go?

learned smoking when i was onli 14. at onli 14 lor!!!! u noe wad ppl at the age of 14 is doing? they are at home STUDYING. or playing catching at their void deck. and me? SMOKING! gawd. and i REALLY BLARDY REGRET. cum'on, u noe how expensive is ciggs now? yea yea.. ppl will go ard saying. quit lar. if u wan do it u can de. all i can say is FUCK YOU. do u noe how bloody diff that is? u are not fugging in my shoes. true enuff, there is ppl who successfully quit smoking. but u noe how blardy small amt that is? jus hate ppl goes ard shoot of their mouth without thinking.

mixed ard with the super CAL and CAB bunch fer ard 2 years or so. den began to drift away from them. why? bcoz i nid to work. *poor me* but realli, if i didn't work in the 1st place, i guess i would be a CAL still. now whenever i look at them, the bunch i mixed with, or look at other lianz and bengz, i began to wonder, don't ppl grow up?? don't their thinking change? i mean, how could ppl still mixed ard with them? i am realli confused. i don mean they are bad but its jus that the things they do.

i DO NOT despise them mind you.

u imagine YOU, at the age of 20+, idling ard in some small neighbourhood shopping malls, jobless or changing their job requently, having an equally ah lian/ah beng gf/bf. den wad u all do everyday? everyday seh(take drugs)? or jus waiting for shotgun to get married? and who will be bring ur child up? ur PARENTS. haven they done enuff to bring u up? gawd.

alot of my frens still say i'm a ah lian (not as BIG time as last time although *LOL*). but pls lor. once an ah lian forever will be judge as an ah lian? the answer is YES! at least for me. true enuff, i fit into the category of AH LIAN smoothly. when i don smile, i look like ah lian. when i smoke, i AM ah lian. i'm vulgar, even worst, no nid say. and lastly, i USED TO BE an ah lian. but think bout it. am i? if i'm not why say i am? i use the word USED TO BE coz i now i'm not.

u can joke ard with me. calling me names etc once a while. but a have this particular not-so-close friend. everytime she sees me she goes "oi, ah lian............" or "u very ah lian leh." on the slightest thing i do. i mean since when i CHANGE my name to ah lian.or maybe i shld self introduce myself to her again.

"hi, my name is hanlin, not ah lian. maybe u haf mistaken me for someone else."

i made an effort to change.

but some ppl just don see it.

i don understand...
Hanlin slept soundly at 7:45:00 AM